Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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