Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
