SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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