Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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