i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
