im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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