So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
