well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
