that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
