what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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