Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize