I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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