i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
