His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
should my penis look like a turkey
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
