weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
