Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
