There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
