**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
