Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Randomize
