Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
