i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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