Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
