She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
