my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
