i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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