Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
