I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize