Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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