fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
