Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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