ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
