He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
