That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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