Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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