Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize