Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize