she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
