So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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