You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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