I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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