glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
