just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
