if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
