I'm drive I can fine osifer
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
