the new term for farting is butt boxing.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
