We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize