Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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