You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
