you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize