I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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