Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
