Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
