I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize