Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
