guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
