oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
