I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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