Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
