just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
