An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
