The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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