so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
