There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
