im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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