I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
