I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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