she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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