Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
