Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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