Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
