Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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