I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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