we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
