I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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